Since I was a little girl, I’ve fantasized about being in love. I would draw my dream wedding dress and fantasize about my Prince Charming. Yet at twenty-two, this is something that has yet to happen to me. I’ve been infatuated with people before, but most of the time my feelings aren’t reciprocated and I am left feeling hopeless and broken.
We are constantly bombarded with articles, videos, movies, and photos of people in love. I know that things aren’t always as they seem, but a part of me still feels like I’ve been missing out on something great. I’ve never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. I’ve never even been in love and it makes me feel so incomplete at times. I know that I have so much love to give.
My friends and family are constantly in relationships and every holiday I am asked if I’m seeing anyone, and I feel embarrassed. It’s awkward when every single year I say that I’m still alone. It has gotten to the point where my relatives have stopped asking.
I’ve met a couple other people who, like me, have just never seemed to find love. It’s nice to relate to people and to know that you’re not crazy for feeling the way you do.
For anyone in my situation, you can’t help but wonder if there’s something wrong with you. What could be so wrong with you that no one has ever needed you? No one has ever treated you as the only person in the room or kissed you passionately. Is there something with your personality or looks that make you undateable?
Though I am typically confident with my looks and just who I am as a person, I’m still occasionally sad and confused. I know that it’ll happen eventually. It is unlikely that I’ll be single my entire life. But it has just taken so long that I feel like half of a whole.
I’ve stopped actively looking for a ‘special someone’ because it’s emotionally draining and always leaves me upset. I try to be okay with it; to be content with being alone. But I’m just kidding myself. I want so desperately to give my love to someone.
I try to keep a positive outlook on life. So when these feelings of sadness and loneliness come crashing in, this is what I say. Your self-worth is not based on the love of another individual. You are beautiful and charming and no one else needs to tell you that for it to be true. There are seven billion people on this planet and many of them are just as alone, just as scared, and just as hurt. You are special, cherished by your friends and family, and love will find you eventually. Never give up hope. Love will find you soon.
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